I think most people can honestly say they’d rather be happy. I would rather be happy. Unfortunately for you and I, it’s not always realistic and it’s ignorant to believe it’s possible to ALWAYS be happy.

It’s called ‘life’

And sometimes it sucks.

When the family pet dies, it sucks. When a friend, parent, sibling or other loved one dies, it sucks. When you find out a loved one has had a hidden addiction, it sucks. When you lose your job or get passed up for a promotion, it sucks. When your house is foreclosed on, it sucks. Just imagine a combination of a few of these things.

Do I advocate dwelling on such things? Heck no, but learn from them and appreciate them for what they were. Most people know I’m an optimist and pretty laid back, but I also believe in the value of learning from our experiences. So cherish the sucky (yes, I said “sucky”) times, learn from them, then move on. Live life. Enjoy it.

What’s a scale of 1 to 10 without 1 through 9?

Hang with me on this one.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being you want to curl up in bed with a box of tissue and 10 being fantabulous!), how do you feel today? Be honest. Let’s say you’re at a 7; you’re at a job you enjoy, you feel good, but you’re still at work, it’s a little cold out and you’re hungry. Not bad and for the most part all things you can “fix”.

Now let’s say someone just rode in under that rainbow on their unicorn and told us to just be a 10! It’s easy, it’s all in your mind! 10 is awesome!!! Once you’re done gagging with me, let’s look at the problem.

We know sadness, anger, loneliness, anxiety and depression exist. If you haven’t seen it, open your eyes. But if we’re to believe moving from a 1 to a 10 is always just a state of mind, then that would indicate that the low end of the scale is a figment of our imagination that can be “cured” with a thought.

If we remove too much of the scale, we end up with a point. A point without a frame of reference is useless.

It would be like pulling the fire engine red crayon out of the box, showing it to a toddler and telling them it’s dark. There is no frame of reference, so calling fire engine red “dark” has no real meaning or value. Don’t even bring up “light” because it doesn’t exist, only one point exists.

“One without sun, one without shadow”

One of my favorite bands Floater has a song where they say:

One without sun
One without shadow
One without anger
Is one who’s not whole

That’s my point. If you refuse to believe that 1-5 on the scale (or even 1-9 as some of the people I know might advocate), then you are not a whole person.

The range of emotions exists so we can experience them. Don’t ignore a single one of them. Explore them all. Know your limits. Know what each one feels like.

Final thoughts

My closest friends know I’m a happy guy. If you read this and think I’m negative or depressed or angry as a person, you don’t know me, but I’m willing to get to know you better if you’d like. I’m the guy who says “at least now you have new tires” after you accidentally drive your car off a cliff in icy conditions, I like trying to make people feel better.

As for happiness, it IS awesome. Find it however and whenever you can. But you have to find it alone. As soon as your happiness hinges on someone else, they will take you on THEIR ride up and down the scale. Find your own happiness and you’ll be able to ride out the bad times more successfully while also being able to help those closest to you find their 7+ on the scale.

(I’m writing this from bed, on my iPad, looking out at a beautiful blue sky, my health is great, I just got paid and I found out they’re finally releasing GoldenEye for the Wii, so life is good )