Nick Bostic » Think Outside

Happiness: The Opiate of the Masses

Nick Bostic — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 21:05:18 +0000

I think most people can honestly say they’d rather be happy. I would rather be happy. Unfortunately for you and I, it’s not always realistic and it’s ignorant to believe it’s possible to ALWAYS be happy.

It’s called ‘life’

And sometimes it sucks.

When the family pet dies, it sucks. When a friend, parent, sibling or other loved one dies, it sucks. When you find out a loved one has had a hidden addiction, it sucks. When you lose your job or get passed up for a promotion, it sucks. When your house is foreclosed on, it sucks. Just imagine a combination of a few of these things.

Do I advocate dwelling on such things? Heck no, but learn from them and appreciate them for what they were. Most people know I’m an optimist and pretty laid back, but I also believe in the value of learning from our experiences. So cherish the sucky (yes, I said “sucky”) times, learn from them, then move on. Live life. Enjoy it.

What’s a scale of 1 to 10 without 1 through 9?

Hang with me on this one.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being you want to curl up in bed with a box of tissue and 10 being fantabulous!), how do you feel today? Be honest. Let’s say you’re at a 7; you’re at a job you enjoy, you feel good, but you’re still at work, it’s a little cold out and you’re hungry. Not bad and for the most part all things you can “fix”.

Now let’s say someone just rode in under that rainbow on their unicorn and told us to just be a 10! It’s easy, it’s all in your mind! 10 is awesome!!! Once you’re done gagging with me, let’s look at the problem.

We know sadness, anger, loneliness, anxiety and depression exist. If you haven’t seen it, open your eyes. But if we’re to believe moving from a 1 to a 10 is always just a state of mind, then that would indicate that the low end of the scale is a figment of our imagination that can be “cured” with a thought.

If we remove too much of the scale, we end up with a point. A point without a frame of reference is useless.

It would be like pulling the fire engine red crayon out of the box, showing it to a toddler and telling them it’s dark. There is no frame of reference, so calling fire engine red “dark” has no real meaning or value. Don’t even bring up “light” because it doesn’t exist, only one point exists.

“One without sun, one without shadow”

One of my favorite bands Floater has a song where they say:

One without sun
One without shadow
One without anger
Is one who’s not whole

That’s my point. If you refuse to believe that 1-5 on the scale (or even 1-9 as some of the people I know might advocate), then you are not a whole person.

The range of emotions exists so we can experience them. Don’t ignore a single one of them. Explore them all. Know your limits. Know what each one feels like.

Final thoughts

My closest friends know I’m a happy guy. If you read this and think I’m negative or depressed or angry as a person, you don’t know me, but I’m willing to get to know you better if you’d like. I’m the guy who says “at least now you have new tires” after you accidentally drive your car off a cliff in icy conditions, I like trying to make people feel better.

As for happiness, it IS awesome. Find it however and whenever you can. But you have to find it alone. As soon as your happiness hinges on someone else, they will take you on THEIR ride up and down the scale. Find your own happiness and you’ll be able to ride out the bad times more successfully while also being able to help those closest to you find their 7+ on the scale.

(I’m writing this from bed, on my iPad, looking out at a beautiful blue sky, my health is great, I just got paid and I found out they’re finally releasing GoldenEye for the Wii, so life is good )

A Millennial Response to "The Corporate Mullet"

Nick Bostic — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 22:35:05 +0000

Bill Lublin (@billlublin) shared a post and a video of an event he attended discussing “The Corporate Mullet”:

Business in the front (traditional marketing & corporate mindset) and party in the back (social media & mindset)

The video is embedded below and I encourage you to watch. I would like to take a moment to speak on a personal level as a Millennial (in many surveys I’ve read, Millennials would prefer not being referred to as Gen Y since it’s a follow-up to another group instead of its own).

Public Vs. Private Life

I knew relatively early on that I wanted to get into Corporate America. I’m not always sure why now, but I was raised during the “get good grades, go to college, get a safe/secure job” days, so I think that had something to do with my mentality. I also grew up on the Internet, I would guess more so than the people in the video.

I was paranoid for a while. We used code words to get our friend to buy alcohol when we were under the legal age, then hid in our dorm rooms and drank while making sure there was no record of it – over the phone, text message, email, cameras or otherwise. Many of us were protecting ourselves from ourselves. We didn’t want our past to come back and bite us at an inopportune time.

Now, I teach people how to set strict privacy settings on their Facebook accounts. Even I have some limitations on mine. I think setting some limits is a good thing.

We Don’t Care Vs. You Don’t Care

Some people, including some in the video, think the younger generation doesn’t care and that they will be sorely disappointed at some point in the future. If the current trends continue in our society, I think it will be more likely the paranoid will be disappointed that they let paranoia run their lives for so long.

Again, from personal experience, let me give a few examples. I attend the Oregon Country Fair and Burning Man every year. I saw the Grateful Dead in San Francisco. I’ve seen many String Cheese Incident shows. Until about 4 years ago, I kept these facts very private. I would be very vague when I would ask for vacation time off. Again, like the older people in the video, “business professionals” might judge me.

What Is My Life?

Is my life work? Or is my life my friends and family? Which do YOU look more forward to: going to work or spending time with friends? If you chose work, it’s time for new friends. During these last 4 years, I also saw my father laid off within 2 years of retirement eligibility after working for one company *cough*Intel*cough* for over 15 years which kind of destroyed my “get good grades, go to college, get a safe/secure job” mentality. I’ve since seen many more good people get laid off after years of loyal service.

Unrealistic Expectations

I personally believe younger generations are less willing to put up with crap. Be it realizing they’re going to school for a degree that will land them a job that might let them pay off their student debt in 10 years and quitting college to do pottery or simply finding out that the paranoia of hiding the part of their life that they enjoy is weighing on them. Triggers appear to be pulled much more quickly.

Why Hide?

If you like to enjoy life in your free time, however that might be, and you’re talking to a potential employer who really has little to no loyalty to you anyway and THEY choose to judge YOU because of what you do in your free time, is that really a work environment you want? In our day of layoffs and furloughs, do you also want the fear that someone might see you out at a bar or a concert and make an incorrect assumption? Lately, I’m the designated driver, but you might think I’m an alcoholic because I’m in bars most weekends. Or would you rather find life as enjoyable as possible? I think Millennials are more willing to just enjoy.

What is Privacy Anyway?

Millennials grew up on movies that let us know the government is watching at all times. Kobe let us know our text messages weren’t safe. We knew what wire taps were and that they worked on cell phones too. We’ve banked online and trusted countless web sites and doctors offices (without examining their security measures) with VERY personal information including our dates of birth, drivers license numbers, social security numbers and more. I know I don’t really believe in privacy. An example I frequently use on older people afraid of online social networking is snapping their photo with my phone and letting them know it’s now out on no less than 3 web sites complete with my comments. Oops. If you want privacy, live in a cave.

When You Assume blah blah blah

Sure, you may see a picture of me out at Burning Man and think I’m crazy. However, you don’t know that I’m the camp medic in charge of both supplies and treatment. You don’t know that I’m the guy who carries extra water and clothes to help keep my friends comfortable in case they weren’t prepared for an outing. So you made an assumption and were wrong, are you really someone I want to work for? Luckily, I went out on a limb and told my current boss that that’s where I was going and her response was something along the lines of “That’s so great, I’ve heard so many great things about it”. She’s an open minded person and I respect that.

But What About The Next Job?

I work in the real estate industry which isn’t doing so hot right now. So if I get let go, what will I do next, especially now that everyone knows I enjoy my free time? I’ll go find a job working with other open minded people. Millennials are getting older and getting into management, so it’s not unlikely that I can find someone open minded who is hiring. If I can’t find one, I’ll start my own open minded business. I’m seeing this more and more out of my age group, so I don’t think I’m alone in this idea.

Life can be really tough at times, I’m not going to worry about the perceptions of others if they’re unwilling to try to get to know me and would rather instead assume they know based on a picture they saw on Facebook.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Kevin Spacey on Twitter

Nick Bostic — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 16:32:31 +0000

This is just too funny; Kevin Spacey is attempting to explain Twitter to David Letterman. If only I were a famous movie star I could poke fun at all the people I explain Twitter to that just don’t get it. Instead, I’ll just share Mr. Spacey doing it:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Nick Updates

Nick Bostic — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:41:03 +0000

Every time I say, “Wow, it’s been a long ”, the length of time keeps getting bigger. I’ve come to the realization that life isn’t going to wait for me, so it’s time to figure out how best to manage my time for maximum enjoyment. In the last 2 years, I’ve:

Lost my father
Watched my childhood house go into a short sale situation
Helped move mom
Helped out parents financially more than some friends make in an entire year (I feel great that I was able to do this, I only wish I could do more)
Lost a grandmother
Left my job
Got laid off from my new job
Went back to my old job
Launched no less than 10 web sites
Got married
Attended 4 major festivals (1 of which I co-hosted)
Went to Fiji
Made a ton of great new friends
Saw some incredible live music performances

So yeah, I’ve been busy.

Disconnection

My recent time in Fiji was a period of complete disconnect. I didn’t get on the computer and made only a handful of phone calls. I went SCUBA diving, ate some great food and otherwise relaxed with my wife. Basically, I did all the things I love and nothing else.

When I got back, I cracked The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur and was blasted within the first 20 pages with an incredible concept: quit chasing the dollar and just do what you love. The brilliantly simple explanation is that if you just do things you hope will make you money, you’ll constantly be chasing that, whereas if you do what you love, you’ll do it very well, enjoy life and make enough to live comfortably.

Reinforcement

Last weekend, I attended the Oregon Country Fair just outside of Eugene, OR. It was my 8th year as a worker, 1oth total. Despite the mud pit that formed due to rain on Sunday, I had an incredible time. Throughout the weekend, I was able to spend time with my closest friends, including several I only see there each year.

I had a moment of reinforcement of the do-what-you-love concept while walking around what is known as “The Eight” (the path started out in the shape of a figure eight) and saw many now-familiar faces working booths. Many of the artists (be it crafts or their food) travel the country (or at least the region) doing what they love. They get to build their families through the people they meet at these events, see some beautiful scenery and are able to support their families.

My Future

I have a day job I enjoy, so I’m staying here as long as that lasts. However, all of my side projects will be going through some changes.

This site, in particular, is going to experience some upheaval. I will continue to use this site as a supplement for the classes I teach. I have, however, removed all paid services. There are too many people in the real estate industry playing at being marketing consultants. Although I know I have the skills to compete, that’s what I do all day, it’s not what I want to do in my free time. I will be interviewing people soon so I can figure out who I will refer new inquiries to. I will continue to work with my current customers as well as select people from my waiting list.

I will now spend time on this site writing about things that interest me, instead of just a core focus on real estate and marketing. It is NickBostic.com after all. I expect it will still talk about real estate, technology and internet marketing from time to time, since that’s what I’m involved in, but expect it to have some more random topics as well.

I have determined my top three passions and will begin to develop them into their own entities that will allow me, in time, to pursue my passions as part of my free time.

Summers are very busy for me, so I won’t be committing to having any of the three up and running before the fall.

Thank you for coming along with me on my journey so far and I hope you’ll continue our trip together.

Testing WordPress for BlackBerry Beta App

Nick Bostic — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 16:11:14 +0000

I’m just testing the brand spankin’ new WordPress for BlackBerry beta application. Stay tuned for a poll for real estate industry professionals coming soon…