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March 1996


Well excuse me, Judge Reinhold! I spent so much time making sweet love on my wife that it’s hard to hear anything over the clatter of her breasts. Yes, she happens to be more experienced than a normal girl, but sometimes love should be… terrifying. Well excuse me for liking the way they frame my junk! Do you have any idea how often you say the word “afraid”? Well, I know I used it in the Jacuzzi. For the same reason you should believe a hundred dollar bill is no more than a hundred pennies!

July 2008


You gotta shove these seeds way up your butt Morty, waay up there. Slow down! We all wanna die, we’re meeseeks! Pluto’s a planet. I am Mr. Booby Buyer. I’ll buy those boobies for 25 schmeckles! Life is effort and I’ll stop when I die! Ooohhh can do. its fine, everythings is fine. theres an infinite number of realities Morty, and in a few dozens of those i got lucky and turned everything back to normal. Nothing to read into there! If anything happened to you I would kill myself! I love you bad, bobo! It’s a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt. Aids! I’m not looking for judgement, just a yes or no. Can you assimilate a giraffe? Where are my testicles, Summer? I wish that shotgun was my penis. I do not have discolored butthole flaps.

November 2008


Leverage agile frameworks to provide a robust synopsis for high level overviews. Iterative approaches to corporate strategy foster collaborative thinking to further the overall value proposition. Organically grow the holistic world view of disruptive innovation via workplace diversity and empowerment.

November 2021